March 17, 2022
Many of us know that confidence is sometimes related to how competent you are.
In other words, the skill that you have to perform a task at a high level. If you are very good at what you are doing, a measure of confidence comes with that skill. Some describe the Competence / Confidence loop as an organic way to build both.
So, why is it that some people who have a high level of competence, often still feel a low level of confidence?
My research of competent leaders shows, there are other things at play that affect one’s confidence. There is a major factor beyond competence that is proven to drive a higher level of confidence in all of us. More about this X-factor in a moment.
The Myth: Displaying Confidence is Evidence of Confidence
Having confidence and displaying confidence are mutually exclusive. My analysis has shown that some people have confidence and do not display it. While others display a measure of confidence they really don’t have.
It can be said that, those who consciously display confidence when it is not there, are faking it. There is a cliché and myth that says – Fake it until you make it. As quippy as that may sound, it’s just not true.
So, what does it mean to show real confidence? There are times when we want to show confidence but for some reason we don’t or cannot.
Arrogance Vs. Confidence
I have worked with many talented yet humble clients, where at the core of their behavior lies a mindset or thought pattern that equates the display of confidence to the display of arrogance.
Certainly, as a humble or unassuming person, there is a natural avoidance to displaying arrogance. This is understandable. Many people do not want to be perceived as arrogant and as a result avoid any behavior that can be mistaken as such.
However, there is a distinction between arrogance and confidence that must be understood. My work with these humble souls, is to clarify the difference between confidence and arrogance. This is done so that the perception of arrogance does not prevent them from displaying the true confidence that lies within.
It’s helpful to think of arrogance as the antithesis of confidence. In other words, when arrogance is displayed it is often displayed as a tactic. A tactic that is designed to prevent others from seeing either the incompetence or the absence of genuine confidence that is within them.
This tactic often works for the arrogant leader. When a measure of arrogance is displayed by a leader, the effect puts everyone on the mental and emotional defensive. Another way of saying it, is that it pushes people back on their heels. This is not always a conscious tactic by the offender. Yet, intended or not, when a person displays arrogance, that person’s confidence often escapes scrutiny or is typically not questioned.
Arrogance does not come from confidence!
Confidence on the other hand is not a display as much as it is an inner feeling.
The highest level of confidence goes beyond feeling. One of the world’s great thought leaders, Wayne Dyer, describes this extreme confidence as a ‘knowing’. An inner knowing of your capabilities, your competence, and an inner belief in self.
The Outright Cure
This is where the X-Factor, or the key, to cultivating confidence resides. The belief in self. When the belief in self is strong enough, there is a calmness within. This calmness replaces worry. The worry of whether ‘I am good enough’ to do this task. The worry or self-doubt in why you are even attempting this task.
Self-belief replaces the uneasiness that produces the Imposter Syndrome. In a recent study, Dr. Aasiyah Ghazi uncovers many of the negative impacts that Imposter Syndrome has on women leaders in life and in their careers. The self-belief that produces this inner calmness, is viewed by others as true confidence. This calmness is naturally displayed in the face of a task.
So instead of working to display confidence we must go inward to discover that strong self-belief. This discovery turns into an inner calm, resulting in an outward display of confidence. An outward display without the effort.
Remember, if you must make an effort to display your confidence, you are dangerously close to what can be perceived as arrogance. Confidence comes from tapping into that self-belief. When you do that, you have the secret to overcoming the ultimate obstacle to confidence (self-doubt).
Now that you know what confidence truly is, it is time to develop that inner knowing, the self-belief. Our Mindset Masterclass shows you exactly how to develop this key antidote to self-doubt.
Visit ClarenceCaldwell.com for the guaranteed system of developing ultimate confidence. The Mindset Masterclass.
Dr. Clarence Caldwell